It is rare that I ever make such effort to curse in a rant, as I usually try to be much more eloquent. I make a rare exception for the Department of Motor Vehicles, which has yet again shown another example of how city officials in Chicago hate the people they govern.*
*Before I begin, I would like to mention that I am aiming this rant at my recent situation and at management and not at any city employees, who as far as I can tell, while some may have a reputation of being surly or unhelpful, are only able (or willing) to do what they are allowed to do.
Dear c***s*****ng m***erf***ers at the DMV:
Thank you so f***ing much for printing on your license renewal form that Wednesday hours are extended until 7pm.
At top, the sign outside the Chicago North location at 5401 N. Elston;
at bottom, the back side of my license renewal form,
clearly showing Wednesday hours until 7pm
Thank you so very much also for using duct tape and a marker to update the sign outside of your building, proving that you truly are c***s*****ng m***erf***ers.
If you are going to create your so-called “winter” hours,
FRIGGIN’ UPDATE your damn license renewal forms!
Regardless of this, what you have done is WRONG WRONG WRONG!
Just because it’s Winter, doesn’t mean there are less people needing to renew their driver’s license outside of regular business hours.
People have birthdays year-round. WE HAVE JOBS TOO!
I know the economy is tough and perhaps this means that you need to cut hours where you can,
but that doesn’t make it any less necessary for you to consider changing your times of operation.
How about on one or two days a week, you open the office a few hours later than normal and keep the office open an additional few hours so people with 9-5 jobs and/or long commutes can still take care of renewing a driver’s license or taking care of some other DMV thing.
And WOULD IT KILL YA TO BE OPEN PAST NOON ON A SATURDAY?
F*** YOU, DMV. BURN IN HELL, YOU SUCK,
THERE ARE TOO MANY STATES NOWADAYS! NO, I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
(okay, those last few are from The Simpsons, but I think you get my point).
P.S. – You owe me a few bucks for the gas I wasted driving to your closed office. Aw, heck! I’ll let you off this time, but don’t let it happen again!
The Plan: To make an ALL BACON Chicago Style Deep Dish Pizza.
Prepared deep dish dough (secret recipe handed down from south cicero monks – hint.. absolutely NO cornmeal!), let it rise for one hour, then put it in a ziploc bag in the fridge for an overnight snooze.
Gave my 12″ cast iron pan a slow cookin’ workout, frying up a pound of thick cut bacon and an additional package of center-cut thin bacon to soft/partly crispy doneness. Drained on paper towels, cooled and tossed in the fridge overnight.
2 hours before gametime, dough is removed from fridge. My 5 lb brick of mozzarella (YAY, SAM’S CLUB!) is placed in the freezer to make slicing easier. The 14″ deep dish pan comes out of storage. Leftover bacon grease (source of all life in the universe) is used to grease the bottom of the pan.
Dough is pressed out into the pan in the usual way, and the cheese comes out of the freezer for slicing. One pound of sliced mozzarella covers the bottom and I grab the bacon out of the fridge. The center-cut bacon gets chopped into strips and is spread all over top of the cheese.
The thick cut bacon gets sliced into pepperoni sized pieces and is dusted with a light coating of flour and cracked black pepper (think shake n’ bake!).
A mixture of Diced and Crushed tomatoes with basil covers the bacon strips and cheese, and then the top of the pie is covered with grated romano cheese and finally the bacon pieces.
Into the oven !!!
35-40 minutes later…
Congratulations, New Orleans Saints on your very first Superbowl win at your first Superbowl EVER!
May your victory be filled with bacony goodness!