All Holiday Humor

It’s March 32nd. Please Update Your Calendars.

Don’t forget, today is MARCH 32nd.

The United Nations and the Coordinated Universal Time Agency
have announced that this is the very first
Daylight Savings Conversion Adjustment
Contingency Solution Year.

Assimilated Press reports:
A panel of scientists, including NASA and a number of
leaders in mathematical science and astrophysics around
the world have concluded that our current system for
measuring time has been increasingly drifting out of
with the Earth’s rotation around the Sun. After
tracking several years of space/time drift anomalies and

elativity inconsistencies
with supporting data from our
Internationally funded global positioning networks and the
Lunar verification telemetry from
orbiting space telescopes,
Scientists have determined that our current system of

leap years is only partially effective for keeping our
calendars in proper sync.

  Therefore, in addition to the leap year system of adding a
February 29th every four years,
  (except for years divisible by 100 that do not leave a
of 200 or 600 when divided by 900),
Officials have now established a new protocol to compensate
for this inconsistency.
We must now add an additional day to March every 7 years,
except in years divisible by 41.

One scientist has already coined this adjustment as:

Lucky Leap Year.

The next DSCACS year will be 2019.
Software companies have been scrambling to push updates for
all programs requiring a calendar update. All US Government
nuclear facilities have already verified installation of
the calendar-based operating systems.

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