C.P. Bacon Addresses The Elephant In The Room

Yesterday, news broke that presidential candidate and crispy meat slab, C.P. Bacon of Bacon4President.com

confirmed that he had sent out a support letter in favor of newly formed Bacon SuperPAC aka Americans For More Bacon Tomorrow. After much criticism over his support of a SuperPAC after having publicly denounced the Citizens United ruling on Corporate “Personhood”, he released a followup statement on his Facebook page and simultaneously on his Twitter account, @Bacon4Pres , explaining his rationale:

WHY I SUPPORT BACON SUPERPAC

OK, let me address the elephant in the room. (No, not you, Dumbo, I’m speaking metaphorically).

Citizens United is what I’m talking about.  I’m pretty sure there’s a ton of corporate interests out there using Citizens United as a way to use tons of $$$$ to mislead the masses, and I’m not entirely sure if I agree with the Supreme Court on Corporations having the same rights to free speech as people (and half-people like me). But as a patriotic Bacon-American, I can see that the Citizens United ruling hurts the American Dream more than it helps. So I would be in favor of a constitutional amendment overturning Citizens United, but as most of us realize, passing one could take years.

In the meantime, corporate interests will continue to undermine the efforts of honest hardworking Americans just trying to #BringHomeTheBacon . So I’m doing the only thing I can to stem the tide. While the ability to make independent expenditures to promote a better food industry and a better economy for everyone is still perfectly legal under the law, I’ll do what I have to in order for you to have a better tomorrow.

This is why I support BaconSuperPAC.com and why I wrote that letter of support.
Americans For More Bacon Tomorrow shares a lot of the same hopes and dreams for a better future for America, and they want to help you have every opportunity to #BringHomeTheBacon.
So I hope you can see that this is not just any SuperPAC. It’s a BACON SuperPAC.

Thanks for reading, and Lard Bless America!

C.P. Bacon – Bacon4President.com
@Bacon4Pres on twitter

p.s. – I know you’re not supposed to start sentences with “so” and “but” , but I do not care. The message is what’s important. I’ll hire a speech-writer for next election,

Bacon SuperPAC Support Letter From C.P. Bacon:



Bacon Super PAC – Let's Make This Happen!

Hi, Bacon , Cheeseburger and Bacon Cheeseburger Fans
and followers of Bacon4President!

I’m starting up a Bacon Super PAC (www.baconsuperpac.com).
I’m not kidding. This is real.

Besides supporting an imaginary strip of Bacon wearing a suit who’s running for President (you can still write him in),
I want to use this PAC to support real solutions for economic recovery and local food-related causes and other things that we care about, such as:

helping people get jobs and training,
helping small businesses that create or support a better food industry,
giving people better access to fresh produce,
working with cities to create more reasonable food truck regulations (like preparing/cooking food on the truck, etc.),
and supporting those who support progress.

In order to get the Super PAC and 501 non-profit set up properly, I need some seed-money to set up accounts and do the initial paperwork, etc. I’m trying to do as much of this on my own as possible, but I may need legal or financial consultation to make sure I put your donations to their best use. Any amount not used for the setup will go toward funding of the SuperPAC and/or 501 non-profit.
Once Bacon Super PAC is up and running, I may soon be able to hire people to support the Super PAC and 501 non-profit organizations. I want to be a REAL job creator, so others can bring home the bacon, too!

Let’s get started!
Go to www.gofundme.com/BaconSuperPAC
and make a Pre-Funding Donation (any amount)
so we can get this thing “out of the frying pan”!


Together, we can make a future where
ALL Americans can have more bacon tomorrow!

Thanks for your support, and LARD BLESS AMERICA!

Edward Heller
Founder – Bacon SuperPAC
Americans For More Bacon Tomorrow
www.baconsuperpac.com



A BACON AMERCIA! (or beer can)

I think we can cut Mitt Romney a little slack on this one, as he probably didn’t even know he HAD an iPhone app.
Our good friend and presidential candidate, C.P. Bacon is also quite familiar with the challenges of hiring competent production staff. One time, he hired a Jamaican graphic designer to work on his iPhone app.
We’re not entirely sure if Bacon realizes that he was also dyslexic:

If you don’t get why it says “beer can”, you used to be able to go to: baconorbeercan.com, but apparently there were legal issues with that website, so we’re linking to the archive.org page



The Bacon Rules

Our good friend @Bacon4Pres is on another twitter rant.
He has established “The Bacon Rules. …or does he just mean that Bacon RULES!!!! ?
Either way, it looks like our presidential write-in candidate has ten of them.
( if you can’t see the Storify feed below, you can view it at storify.com/vcburger/the-bacon-rules )