Categories
booze drinking made easy Humor monkey Rant rum three sheets zane lamprey

Zane Lamprey – SEND ME YOUR RUM!

UPDATE – Don’t forget to Help Zane Lamprey fund his next show, CHUG!
It’s like Three Sheets… ON A TRAIN!
HURRY! HE’S RUNNING OUT OF TIME!
FUND : CHUG – A KickStarter Fund Raiser for Zane Lamprey’s Next Drinking Show!

Go to

www.CHUG.tv

and give him all of your money! (or at least a six-pack’s worth.)

HeyLook-ZaneLamprey monkeyrum

I sure would like to tell you about this new rum that Zane Lamprey (host of Drinking Made Easy, former host of Three Sheets, enabler of professional lush Steve McKenna, and alcoholic beverage entrepreneur) has created, but the stubborn son-of-a….  is taking his sweet time getting it into distribution!

Dude… how many tastings do you need to do until you’re happy? It’s rum! It will taste good. It has monkeys on the bottle. WE WILL BUY IT.

On behalf of the drinking world, here is my official plea:

ZANE, Release the Rum!

or failing that, send me a few bottles to review here on VCBlogger until you’re ready for me (and all of your rum drinking fans) to stop giving all my booze money to Captain Morgan.

In summary:

RELEASE THE RUM, Send me a few bottles, and

FOR THE LOVE OF RUM, STOP STALLING AND TAKE OUR MONEY!

Thank you.  This has been a public service announcement.


p.s. – Don’t forget to Help fund his next show, CHUG! It’s like Three Sheets… ON A TRAIN!

HURRY! HE’S RUNNING OUT OF TIME!
FUND : CHUG – A KickStarter Fund Raiser for Zane Lamprey’s Next Drinking Show!
Go to www.CHUG.tv and give him all of your money! (or at least a six-pack’s worth.)

Categories
All Baking booze Bread Food Food Porn Holiday Humor Recipes

Thanksgiving Super Stuffing! Also A Turkey Day Myth Dispelled

Much of this article was previously posted on Nov 22, 2010
Since most of you SOBs probably didn’t read it the first time, I’m posting a revision, now with photos!

Thanksgiving is coming up soon.

It is quite possibly the best freakin’ food-related holiday in existence.

I’m quite happy to celebrate this blessed day of thanks, and I encourage all to do their very best to stuff the hell out of themselves and each other with turkey and stuffing and cranberries and potatoes and gravy (aka turkey syrup) and pie without exploding or causing any serious coronary events, all while managing to stay pleasantly in a food/booze coma/buzz, thus unknowingly saving us all from years of potential family conflicts and Hatfield/McCoy-style feuds. I think, at the very least, it’s your patriotic duty to try.

That said, I must now enter the rant portion of this post, which involves the widely spread rumor of the tasty, but innocent giant roasted bird that we love so much – The Turkey.

A Turkey Day Myth Dispelled:

There is this crazy little amino acid called L-tryptophan (a precursor to serotonin) that, taken by itself, can have sedative effect. So much so, that it is sometimes prescribed as a sleep aid.

It just so happens that turkey contains a large quantity of L-tryptophan compared to other meats, and because of this, people everywhere started putting 2 and 2 together and came up with 5, claiming that everyone falls into a food coma after eating Thanksgiving dinner ‘because of the tryptophan in the turkey’.

The truth is that L-tryptophan does not have this sedative effect on people when it is ingested with protein, which turkey is also loaded with, so that pretty much restores all of our faith in arithmetic now, right?

IT’S FOUR!

TWO AND TWO MAKE FOUR, PEOPLE!

Doing the math, it’s not rocket science to anyone who’s ever been in a sugar coma.

Eating a large amount of calories, especially carbohydrates (and booze), is the culprit.

That’s right. We all stuffed ourselves into a sweet, sweet, sleeperriffic food coma. Over-eating is the culprit, but Thanksgiving only happens once a year, so let’s just enjoy the ride!

… which brings me to the real purpose of this post:

A Thanksgiving Super Stuffing:

I’ve posted my coma-licious Thanksgiving Super Sage Stuffing on my recipes page and am happy to share it with all of you:

Click for a larger version or go HERE to download a printable PDF.

Happy Turkey Day, Everyone!

Categories
All Beer booze Politics Recipes

The White House Beer Recipes!

vcb - white house beer recipes

Straight from the White House Blog

It’s THE WHITE HOUSE BEER RECIPES!

Start Brewing, America!

White House Honey Porter

Ingredients

  • 2 (3.3 lb) cans light unhopped malt extract
  • 3/4 lb Munich Malt (cracked)
  • 1 lb crystal 20 malt (cracked)
  • 6 oz black malt (cracked)
  • 3 oz chocolate malt (cracked)
  • 1 lb White House Honey
  • 10 HBUs bittering hops
  • 1/2 oz Hallertaur Aroma hops
  • 1 pkg Nottingham dry yeast
  • 3/4 cup corn sugar for bottling

Directions

  1. In a 6 qt pot, add grains to 2.25 qts of 168˚ water. Mix well to bring temp down to 155˚. Steep on stovetop at 155˚ for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, bring 2 gallons of water to 165˚ in a 12 qt pot. Place strainer over, then pour and spoon all the grains and liquid in. Rinse with 2 gallons of 165˚ water. Let liquid drain through. Discard the grains and bring the liquid to a boil. Set aside.
  2. Add the 2 cans of malt extract and honey into the pot. Stir well.
  3. Boil for an hour. Add half of the bittering hops at the 15 minute mark, the other half at 30 minute mark, then the aroma hops at the 60 minute mark.
  4. Set aside and let stand for 15 minutes.
  5. Place 2 gallons of chilled water into the primary fermenter and add the hot wort into it. Top with more water to total 5 gallons if necessary. Place into an ice bath to cool down to 70-80˚.
  6. Activate dry yeast in 1 cup of sterilized water at 75-90˚ for fifteen minutes. Pitch yeast into the fermenter. Fill airlock halfway with water. Ferment at room temp (64-68˚) for 3-4 days.
  7. Siphon over to a secondary glass fermenter for another 4-7 days.
  8. To bottle, make a priming syrup on the stove with 1 cup sterile water and 3/4 cup priming sugar, bring to a boil for five minutes. Pour the mixture into an empty bottling bucket. Siphon the beer from the fermenter over it. Distribute priming sugar evenly. Siphon into bottles and cap. Let sit for 1-2 weeks at 75˚.

White House Honey Ale

Ingredients

  • 2 (3.3 lb) cans light malt extract
  • 1 lb light dried malt extract
  • 12 oz crushed amber crystal malt
  • 8 oz Bisquit Malt
  • 1 lb White House Honey
  • 1 1/2 oz Kent Goldings Hop Pellets
  • 1 1/2 oz Fuggles Hop pellets
  • 2 tsp gypsum
  • 1 pkg Windsor dry ale yeast
  • 3/4 cup corn sugar for priming

Directions

  1. In an 12 qt pot, steep the grains in a hop bag in 1 1/2 gallons of sterile water at 155 degrees for half an hour. Remove the grains.
  2. Add the 2 cans of the malt extract and the dried extract and bring to a boil.
  3. For the first flavoring, add the 1 1/2 oz Kent Goldings and 2 tsp of gypsum. Boil for 45 minutes.
  4. For the second flavoring, add the 1/2 oz Fuggles hop pellets at the last minute of the boil.
  5. Add the honey and boil for 5 more minutes.
  6. Add 2 gallons chilled sterile water into the primary fermenter and add the hot wort into it. Top with more water to total 5 gallons. There is no need to strain.
  7. Pitch yeast when wort temperature is between 70-80˚. Fill airlock halfway with water.
  8. Ferment at 68-72˚ for about seven days.
  9. Rack to a secondary fermenter after five days and ferment for 14 more days.
  10. To bottle, dissolve the corn sugar into 2 pints of boiling water for 15 minutes. Pour the mixture into an empty bottling bucket. Siphon the beer from the fermenter over it. Distribute priming sugar evenly. Siphon into bottles and cap. Let sit for 2 to 3 weeks at 75˚.