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All Desserts Donuts Food Food Porn Holiday Uncategorized

The First Friday in June is National Donut Day!

The first Friday in June is

NATIONAL DONUT DAY! 

Please celebrate accordingly – There are rules.

sprinkle donut

Here’s the rules: 

 

Buy your donuts FRESH and EARLY.
Don’t buy crappy donuts.

 

Don’t spend three dollars for ONE donut, not even for one with bacon on it.

 

Vanilla or Lemon custard are superior to Jelly-filled.

 

Glazed donuts are best when hot.

 

Chocolate iced yellow cake donuts are the reason we were given tastebuds.

Purchase more of these than any other variety.

 

Chocolate, Vanilla, and Pink glazed yeast-risen donuts are also popular and delicious.

Sprinkles are not mandatory, but recommended.

 

Powdered Sugar Donuts are the cocaine of donuts, but try not to snort them.

 

For the purposes of National Donut Day, cinnamon rolls/pershings/persians, apple fritters, maple bars, and long johns also qualify as donuts if purchased at the same time as regular donuts. CRONUTS ARE FORBIDDEN!

 

DO NOT donut and drive. If you are going to donut today, Donut Responsibly. PLEASE get a designated coffee drinker.

 

DO NOT eat half of a donut on National Donut Day.

Eat the whole donut or save your deviant donut-eating heresy for another day.

 

The toasted coconut donut is the scariest looking donut, and you will probably not take it. This is fine with me, because I will save it for last and you will be missing out on a one-way ticket to flavor town.

 

The Final Donut Rule: DONUTS RULE!

 

striped donut - national donut day

pink sprinkle donut
donuts-rule-001
Categories
All Desserts Food Food Porn Holiday Pie Rant

National Pie Day… or is it?

 

Happy National Pie Day!

(Wait… Didn’t we just do this holiday in December?)

Natl-Pie-Day-2013-01
Chocolate Pecan Pie with Homemade Citrus Vodka Pie Crust

I checked my good ‘ol trusty food holiday calendar and it said today was Rhubarb Pie Day.

 

Then all these goofballs started posting on the interwebs that it was NATIONAL PIE DAY.

Normally, I’m not one to complain about days celebrating pie, but didn’t we already HAVE National Pie Day on December 1st?

Who standardizes these things? Who exactly IS the Pie Holiday Authority?

To my knowledge, we now have THREE National Pie Days!

January 23rd (aka TODAY), according the “American Pie Council” (Ohhhh! So YOU GUYS are the Pie Holiday Authority!)

March 14th according to foodie mathematicians (OK, that’s actually Pi Day (3.14), but we’re gonna let it slide.),

and

December 1st, which I’ve just been informed may actually be National FRIED Pie Day.

If McDonald’s or another fried pie purveyor had gotten a hold of that information years ago when they used to sell fried apple pies by the billions, it’s very possible that they advertised December 1st as “National Pie Day” and conveniently left out the “f” word (no, the OTHER f-word!) due to the unfair stigma that deep-fried foods have to this day. Fast forward to today, and one piece of fast-food marketing damages the Pie Holiday Continuum FOREVER! (No, I will not make analogies to corn meal. I have another website for that now. 🙂  )

Well, now that I’ve sorted that out, go make and/or eat some pie!

20121119-mmcpecanpie-02
Chocolate Pecan Marshmallow Pie with a side of milk in a stylish USA Burger pint glass!
pb-and-bacon-deep-dish-04
Deep-Dish Elvis Pie: Peanut Butter Banana Custard topped with Caramelized Bananas in a Deep-Dish Peanut Butter Crust with Bacon and Chocolate.
Categories
All Desserts Food Ice Cream Politics Recipes

Vanilla Ice Cream Day – Jefferson Made A Mean French Vanilla!

Today is Vanilla Ice Cream Day.
 
Though we may never know the exact day when ice cream was invented, many believe that today is the day, in 1904, that one of several vendors at the St. Louis World Fair was the first person to put ice cream onto a cone.

I’ll let other people fight over when the cone was invented, who put ice cream in it first, and whether they were able to finish eating it before it all melted in this super hot July weather. 
Instead, I’m gonna give you :

Thomas Jefferson’s Vanilla Ice Cream recipe:

You can also find this recipe at the Library of Congress website.
Just click on the image above to see the original.

As you are likely to not have an 18th century Ice Cream Maker lying around, It’s quite OK if you want to ignore Thomas’ instructions and use the instructions that came with your ice cream maker.  You’ll notice that there’s quite a few egg yolks in this recipe, so by today’s standards, it might be closer to a frozen custard, but certainly it is a French Vanilla.
It’s all ice cream to me! Enjoy!


Ingredients
2 bottles of good cream (I think he means 2 quarts)
6 yolks of eggs.
1/2 lb sugar. (about 1 cup)

Directions
Mix the yolks & sugar.
Put the cream on a fire in a casser-
ole, first putting in a stick of Vanilla.
When near boiling take it off &
pour it gently into the mixture
of eggs & sugar.
Stir it well.
Put it on the fire again stirring
it thoroughly with a spoon to
prevent it’s sticking to the casse-
role.
When near boiling take it off and
strain it thro a towel.
Put it in the Sabottiere (a sabottiere – aka sorbetière – is the inner canister of an ice cream maker, usually metal).
Then set it in ice an hour before
it is to be served, put into the
ice a handful of salt.
Put ice all around the Sabottiere.
 i.e. a layer of ice, a layer of salt
for three layers.
Put salt on the cover lid of the
Sabotiere & cover the whole with
ice.
Leave it still half a quarter of an hour.
Then turn the Sabottiere in the ice 10 minutes.
Open it to loosen with a spatula
the ice from the inner sides of
the Sabotiere.
Shut it & replace it in the ice.
Open it from time to time to de-
tach the ice from the sides.
When well taken (prise) stir it
well with the spatula.
Put it in moulds, justling it
well down on the knee.
Then put the mould into the
same bucket of ice.
Leave it there to the moment
of serving it.
To withdraw it, immerse the
mould in warm water,
turning it well till it
will come out & turn it
into a plate.

Categories
All Art CHiPs Deep Fried Donut Donuts Holiday Humor

How to pronounce Paczki – The Polish Chicago Mardis Gras Donut!

Pączki
(actually this is plural; pączek is the singular form)

How do you pronounce the name of this wonderful
jam, jelly, custard or creme filled donut-like pastry?
 

Here’s the problem:
The word is Polish, and has been Americanized,
so how you pronounce it really depends
on who’s polish grandmother your parents were talking to
when they bastardized the word into Chicago-eze.
So say it how you want, but to me,
it’s a perfect excuse to put Erik Estrada
into a funny photo with a donut.

 
Poonch+key?
Punch+key?
Ponch plus Key equals how you pronounce the name of the Mardis Gras Jelly Donut

PONCH+KEY!

It goes with the photo, so that’s what we’re sticking with.

You know the theme song from that show is now in your head, don’t you?

Categories
All Baking Cake Chocolate Desserts Food Food Porn Recipes

Mini Chocolate Chip Banana Cake Food Pr0n!

Some of you may have already stumbled on my recipes page over at EdHeller.com. For those who haven’t, you’re totally missing out on my mom’s banana cake recipe. 

Today, I kicked the recipe up a bit with some extra chocolate chips (I used an additional cup of dark chocolate chips) and I use both chopped walnuts and pecans. This time, instead of the traditional bundt cake pan, I used two large muffin pans that I had buttered and crusted with finely chopped pecans. I couldn’t find ground pecans at the grocery store, but the chopped pecans gave the cakes a more substantial outer crust and they came out of the pans with ease. 

Baking time, about 35 minutes @ 350 degrees F
Here’s some food porn: