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All Desserts Donuts Food Food Porn Holiday Uncategorized

The First Friday in June is National Donut Day!

The first Friday in June is

NATIONAL DONUT DAY! 

Please celebrate accordingly – There are rules.

sprinkle donut

Here’s the rules: 

 

Buy your donuts FRESH and EARLY.
Don’t buy crappy donuts.

 

Don’t spend three dollars for ONE donut, not even for one with bacon on it.

 

Vanilla or Lemon custard are superior to Jelly-filled.

 

Glazed donuts are best when hot.

 

Chocolate iced yellow cake donuts are the reason we were given tastebuds.

Purchase more of these than any other variety.

 

Chocolate, Vanilla, and Pink glazed yeast-risen donuts are also popular and delicious.

Sprinkles are not mandatory, but recommended.

 

Powdered Sugar Donuts are the cocaine of donuts, but try not to snort them.

 

For the purposes of National Donut Day, cinnamon rolls/pershings/persians, apple fritters, maple bars, and long johns also qualify as donuts if purchased at the same time as regular donuts. CRONUTS ARE FORBIDDEN!

 

DO NOT donut and drive. If you are going to donut today, Donut Responsibly. PLEASE get a designated coffee drinker.

 

DO NOT eat half of a donut on National Donut Day.

Eat the whole donut or save your deviant donut-eating heresy for another day.

 

The toasted coconut donut is the scariest looking donut, and you will probably not take it. This is fine with me, because I will save it for last and you will be missing out on a one-way ticket to flavor town.

 

The Final Donut Rule: DONUTS RULE!

 

striped donut - national donut day

pink sprinkle donut
donuts-rule-001
Categories
All Cheeseburger Food Food Porn Holiday

National Burger Day. Go eat one.

National Burger Day. Go eat one.

cheeseburger and garlic fries from Edzo's in Evanston
cheeseburger and garlic fries from Edzo’s in Evanston
[cheeseburger and garlic fries from Edzo’s in Evanston]
Categories
All Desserts Food Food Porn Holiday Pie Rant

National Pie Day… or is it?

 

Happy National Pie Day!

(Wait… Didn’t we just do this holiday in December?)

Natl-Pie-Day-2013-01
Chocolate Pecan Pie with Homemade Citrus Vodka Pie Crust

I checked my good ‘ol trusty food holiday calendar and it said today was Rhubarb Pie Day.

 

Then all these goofballs started posting on the interwebs that it was NATIONAL PIE DAY.

Normally, I’m not one to complain about days celebrating pie, but didn’t we already HAVE National Pie Day on December 1st?

Who standardizes these things? Who exactly IS the Pie Holiday Authority?

To my knowledge, we now have THREE National Pie Days!

January 23rd (aka TODAY), according the “American Pie Council” (Ohhhh! So YOU GUYS are the Pie Holiday Authority!)

March 14th according to foodie mathematicians (OK, that’s actually Pi Day (3.14), but we’re gonna let it slide.),

and

December 1st, which I’ve just been informed may actually be National FRIED Pie Day.

If McDonald’s or another fried pie purveyor had gotten a hold of that information years ago when they used to sell fried apple pies by the billions, it’s very possible that they advertised December 1st as “National Pie Day” and conveniently left out the “f” word (no, the OTHER f-word!) due to the unfair stigma that deep-fried foods have to this day. Fast forward to today, and one piece of fast-food marketing damages the Pie Holiday Continuum FOREVER! (No, I will not make analogies to corn meal. I have another website for that now. 🙂  )

Well, now that I’ve sorted that out, go make and/or eat some pie!

20121119-mmcpecanpie-02
Chocolate Pecan Marshmallow Pie with a side of milk in a stylish USA Burger pint glass!
pb-and-bacon-deep-dish-04
Deep-Dish Elvis Pie: Peanut Butter Banana Custard topped with Caramelized Bananas in a Deep-Dish Peanut Butter Crust with Bacon and Chocolate.
Categories
Chocolate Food Holiday

National Chocolate Day

Hi. It’s National Chocolate Day.

Get some. Eat it. That is all.

Chocolate - More, Please?

To get in the upcoming holiday mood, here’s an alternative to the Yule Log video, featuring my last batch of fudge in its boiling stage:

OK, it’s not a Wonka fountain and chocolate river, but I only have so much space in my home.

Besides, think of the liability…

Categories
All Baking booze Bread Food Food Porn Holiday Humor Recipes

Thanksgiving Super Stuffing! Also A Turkey Day Myth Dispelled

Much of this article was previously posted on Nov 22, 2010
Since most of you SOBs probably didn’t read it the first time, I’m posting a revision, now with photos!

Thanksgiving is coming up soon.

It is quite possibly the best freakin’ food-related holiday in existence.

I’m quite happy to celebrate this blessed day of thanks, and I encourage all to do their very best to stuff the hell out of themselves and each other with turkey and stuffing and cranberries and potatoes and gravy (aka turkey syrup) and pie without exploding or causing any serious coronary events, all while managing to stay pleasantly in a food/booze coma/buzz, thus unknowingly saving us all from years of potential family conflicts and Hatfield/McCoy-style feuds. I think, at the very least, it’s your patriotic duty to try.

That said, I must now enter the rant portion of this post, which involves the widely spread rumor of the tasty, but innocent giant roasted bird that we love so much – The Turkey.

A Turkey Day Myth Dispelled:

There is this crazy little amino acid called L-tryptophan (a precursor to serotonin) that, taken by itself, can have sedative effect. So much so, that it is sometimes prescribed as a sleep aid.

It just so happens that turkey contains a large quantity of L-tryptophan compared to other meats, and because of this, people everywhere started putting 2 and 2 together and came up with 5, claiming that everyone falls into a food coma after eating Thanksgiving dinner ‘because of the tryptophan in the turkey’.

The truth is that L-tryptophan does not have this sedative effect on people when it is ingested with protein, which turkey is also loaded with, so that pretty much restores all of our faith in arithmetic now, right?

IT’S FOUR!

TWO AND TWO MAKE FOUR, PEOPLE!

Doing the math, it’s not rocket science to anyone who’s ever been in a sugar coma.

Eating a large amount of calories, especially carbohydrates (and booze), is the culprit.

That’s right. We all stuffed ourselves into a sweet, sweet, sleeperriffic food coma. Over-eating is the culprit, but Thanksgiving only happens once a year, so let’s just enjoy the ride!

… which brings me to the real purpose of this post:

A Thanksgiving Super Stuffing:

I’ve posted my coma-licious Thanksgiving Super Sage Stuffing on my recipes page and am happy to share it with all of you:

Click for a larger version or go HERE to download a printable PDF.

Happy Turkey Day, Everyone!