All Art Chicago Humor Politics Rant

Roll Your Own Rahm Time Magazine Cover

@RedEyeChicago suggested someone start a meme
of the new cover of Time Magazine featuring
Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel:


Here ya go, internet! Roll your own:


booze drinking made easy Humor monkey Rant rum three sheets zane lamprey

Zane Lamprey – SEND ME YOUR RUM!

UPDATE – Don’t forget to Help Zane Lamprey fund his next show, CHUG!
It’s like Three Sheets… ON A TRAIN!
FUND : CHUG – A KickStarter Fund Raiser for Zane Lamprey’s Next Drinking Show!

Go to

and give him all of your money! (or at least a six-pack’s worth.)

HeyLook-ZaneLamprey monkeyrum

I sure would like to tell you about this new rum that Zane Lamprey (host of Drinking Made Easy, former host of Three Sheets, enabler of professional lush Steve McKenna, and alcoholic beverage entrepreneur) has created, but the stubborn son-of-a….  is taking his sweet time getting it into distribution!

Dude… how many tastings do you need to do until you’re happy? It’s rum! It will taste good. It has monkeys on the bottle. WE WILL BUY IT.

On behalf of the drinking world, here is my official plea:

ZANE, Release the Rum!

or failing that, send me a few bottles to review here on VCBlogger until you’re ready for me (and all of your rum drinking fans) to stop giving all my booze money to Captain Morgan.

In summary:

RELEASE THE RUM, Send me a few bottles, and


Thank you.  This has been a public service announcement.

p.s. – Don’t forget to Help fund his next show, CHUG! It’s like Three Sheets… ON A TRAIN!

FUND : CHUG – A KickStarter Fund Raiser for Zane Lamprey’s Next Drinking Show!
Go to and give him all of your money! (or at least a six-pack’s worth.)

All Chicken Chips Deep Fried Food Food Porn Humor Snacks Waffles

Lays Chicken and Waffles Potato Chips – Very Edible

I saw these chips on sale in the store today.

You can’t NOT pick up a bag of ‘Chicken & Waffles’ flavored potato chips to see what it tastes like. I will report later about the other flavors (most likely on facebook or twitter if I don’t get around to updating this post), but right now…


Chicken & Waffles, Sriracha, and Cheesy Garlic Bread Potato Chips
Lays Potato Chips ‘Do Us A Flavor” contest finalists: Chicken & Waffles, Sriracha, and Cheesy Garlic Bread

At the first opening of the bag, you instantly get a whiff of some sweet toasty caramel aromas resembling waffles or waffle batter.

a look inside the Chicken & Waffles flavor Potato Chip Bag
Yep, those look like potato chips

Nothing special to look at, but there are some kind of herbs visible on the chip. Perhaps a few of the Colonel’s 11 super secret herbs/and or spices found their way into the bag.

If you hadn’t told me what flavor these chips were, I probably would never have picked out the ‘chicken flavor’. Clearly, Lay’s wasn’t going for a Chicken Soup chip here, so I think they got the amount of chicken flavor right.  They are very savory, with a hint of sweetness. These are like the kettle corn of potato chips, if that kettle corn were ground up with herbs and spices and breaded on a chicken cutlet and deep fried. The only thing I think these chips were missing were a hint of maple syrup flavor. As you can see from the ingredient list below, they went the brown sugar route instead. I suppose I could just dip these in maple syrup. (problem solved!)

Curiously, MSG is absent from the ingredient list. One of the other ingredients listed below must be responsible for my inability to stop eating these chips. I wonder if “Mixed Triglycerides” is how food manufacturers say ‘crack’ these days.

Chicken & Waffles Chips Ingredients.
I wonder: How do you make ‘chicken flavor’? Do you rub the chickens against the potatoes?


I just got around to trying the other two flavors.

Cheesy Garlic Bread was one of those flavors that I had to sample over two-days. The first chip gave me a pretty strong tangy cheese flavor, like romano/parmesan – an almost ‘mac & cheesy’ kind of flavor, but I wasn’t picking up any garlic. It must have been my tastebuds that day, because I tried them again today, got the cheesy, then the garlic that I missed yesterday hit me like a brick, followed by an after-note of that melted and slightly browned mozzarella flavor you get when you eat garlic toast. So, WELL DONE, Lay’s and Contest finalist Karen Weber-Mendham from Land ‘o Lakes, WI!

An excellent flavor simulation!

Finally, Sriracha chips were pretty much what you expect, but not nearly as painful as pouring that rooster sauce on your tongue. Smelling the bag, you’d think you were going to eat BBQ flavor chips, and the flavor is a little reminiscent of that, but without the smoke. Also, these are Sriracha chips, so (duh) you’re gonna get some heat. It’s a slow burn, which allows you eat a good amount of these chips, which you will definitely want to keep eating. If you like Andy Capp Hot Fries or Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, you’ll dig these chips.

Which Flavor Will You Vote For?

I liked all three flavors. You can never go wrong with a cheesy flavored chip and the Cheesy Garlic Bread flavor will surely be a crowd-pleaser. I’m sure Sriracha (and Tyler Raineri from Lake Zurich, IL) will have a pretty strong fan base and garner plenty of votes.

My vote is going for Chicken & Waffles. Not only is it an absolutely absurd flavor for a chip, but it was ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD! As I said, they could improve on it with some maple, but it’s clearly good enough – I ate almost an entire bag of these things. Christina Abu-Judom of Phoenix, AZ has made a believer out of me.


Sriracha Chips and Pineapple Margarita
Slushy Pineapple Margarita and Sriracha Chips. Perfect combo for watching the Blackhawks game.
All Baking booze Bread Food Food Porn Holiday Humor Recipes

Thanksgiving Super Stuffing! Also A Turkey Day Myth Dispelled

Much of this article was previously posted on Nov 22, 2010
Since most of you SOBs probably didn’t read it the first time, I’m posting a revision, now with photos!

Thanksgiving is coming up soon.

It is quite possibly the best freakin’ food-related holiday in existence.

I’m quite happy to celebrate this blessed day of thanks, and I encourage all to do their very best to stuff the hell out of themselves and each other with turkey and stuffing and cranberries and potatoes and gravy (aka turkey syrup) and pie without exploding or causing any serious coronary events, all while managing to stay pleasantly in a food/booze coma/buzz, thus unknowingly saving us all from years of potential family conflicts and Hatfield/McCoy-style feuds. I think, at the very least, it’s your patriotic duty to try.

That said, I must now enter the rant portion of this post, which involves the widely spread rumor of the tasty, but innocent giant roasted bird that we love so much – The Turkey.

A Turkey Day Myth Dispelled:

There is this crazy little amino acid called L-tryptophan (a precursor to serotonin) that, taken by itself, can have sedative effect. So much so, that it is sometimes prescribed as a sleep aid.

It just so happens that turkey contains a large quantity of L-tryptophan compared to other meats, and because of this, people everywhere started putting 2 and 2 together and came up with 5, claiming that everyone falls into a food coma after eating Thanksgiving dinner ‘because of the tryptophan in the turkey’.

The truth is that L-tryptophan does not have this sedative effect on people when it is ingested with protein, which turkey is also loaded with, so that pretty much restores all of our faith in arithmetic now, right?



Doing the math, it’s not rocket science to anyone who’s ever been in a sugar coma.

Eating a large amount of calories, especially carbohydrates (and booze), is the culprit.

That’s right. We all stuffed ourselves into a sweet, sweet, sleeperriffic food coma. Over-eating is the culprit, but Thanksgiving only happens once a year, so let’s just enjoy the ride!

… which brings me to the real purpose of this post:

A Thanksgiving Super Stuffing:

I’ve posted my coma-licious Thanksgiving Super Sage Stuffing on my recipes page and am happy to share it with all of you:

Click for a larger version or go HERE to download a printable PDF.

Happy Turkey Day, Everyone!

Bacon Donuts Food Holiday Humor Politics

BREAKING: Bacon Twitter Hacked by Donutnonymous

Today is not only NATIONAL DONUT DAY,

but also GUY FAWKES DAY.

It may be just be a coincidence or a well-planned strategic attack,

but one day before the election, presidential candidate and crispy meat strip, C.P. Bacon has had his twitter account (and subsequently also his Facebook account) hacked by the Jelly Donut Hacker Collective known as:


This morning, Donutnonymous made two posts to Bacon’s twitter account @Bacon4Pres.

The most disturbing part of this activity is their uncanny inability to spell their own name.

At this time, it appears that C.P. Bacon has regained control of his social media and there have been no other signs of activity from Donutnonymous, AKA Donutnonmous, AKA Donutronamouse, AKA Donutnonamous, AKA Gooey V. Fawkes AKA Anonymous Jelly Donut.

Virtual Cheeseburger supports the eating of as many donuts as possible today, but advises you to use extreme caution when in the vicinity of any vanilla glazed jelly donut.