Bacon Humor Politics Rant

Samuel L. Jackson Says: Wake the F*@# Up!

In an homage to his reading of ‘Go the f*@#! to Sleep’,

concerned citizen and patriot, Samuel L. Jackson

has participated in this video message that I think everyone should see.


I'm C.P. Bacon and I approve this message. -

All Money Politics Rant

A Quick Note to Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke

UPDATE 9-13-2012:

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke just announced QE3
(Quantitative Easing – You can get an explanation of QE3 from Ezra Klein of the Washington Post)

While I’m sure that it will be better than doing nothing, especially since there’s no jobs legislation coming out of the House of Representatives (Shut up and pass the Jobs Bill, Boehner!), I have a better idea.
This is something that I’ve brought up before, so I’m revising this article with some additional info and a new suggestion for the Chairman of the Federal Reserve (or anyone capable of implementing it).

First, here’s some negative equity mortgage information about the 2nd quarter of 2012:

The housing market is finally showing signs of life, with many metropolitan areas having hit the elusive bottom and seeing home value appreciation, however negative equity remains a drag on the housing market. According to the second quarter Zillow Negative Equity Report, 30.9 percent of U.S. homeowners with a mortgage are underwater (see Figure 1) – 15.3 million people – in the second quarter of 2012. Recent home value appreciation in many markets across the US has pushed negative equity levels down from 31.4 percent last quarter. However, negative equity is still slightly elevated from the 2011 Q2 percentage of 30. In total, underwater homeowners owe $1.15 trillion more than their homes’ worth. Over 40 percent of underwater homeowners (12.5 percent of all homeowners with a mortgage), owe between 1 and 20 percent more than their home is worth. On the other end of the spectrum, about 2.2 million underwater homeowners (4.5 percent of all homeowners with mortgages) owe more than double what their home is worth (see Figure 2). On average, U.S. homeowners in negative equity owe $75,235 more than what their house is worth, or 43.9 percent more (see Table 1). While roughly one out of every three homeowners with mortgages is underwater, 90.8 percent of these homeowners are current on their mortgage and continue to make payments.

Yes, that’s a lot of money for your average American, but for the Federal Reserve (or the Big Banks or many SuperPACs) , it’s a DROP IN THE BUCKET.

With QE3, you’re buying up treasury bonds and mortage backed securities and other stuff like that.
This doesn’t fix the housing market and only puts a minor dent in that $1.15 Trillion.
30.9% of all U.S. homeowners are still underwater in their mortgages and banks have little to no incentive to help those homeowners.
Stop giving these jerks money if they’re not going to help us! Instead, try one of these ideas:

Establish a National Mortgage Bank to lend people the negative equity difference at zero percent interest so they can pay down and/or refinance their current mortgage.


Split the negative equity difference with the Banks and Wall Street and mark the mortgages to their current value
What would that do?

It gives more people the opportunity to refinance their mortgages, lower their payments, and have more money to put back into the economy.
Consider it an investment in the restoration of the housing market and the economy, which both of those entities benefit from.

Alternately, you could go with my previous suggestion:

(Content Below Originally Posted on 10/17/2011)

TO: Mr. Bernanke


1) Estimate the total amount in $ of negative equity in “underwater” mortgages
(aka the amount of $ it would take to bring all of the underwater mortgages down to their current value).

2) Divide that number by 2

3) Make Congress (and their 501c4 / SuperPAC money) pay for half and make the big banks pay the other half.

I call this plan: Operation TWIST-AND-SHOUT

You’re welcome.

Please feel free to contact me for any further advice on repairing our failing economy.


(debt solutions provided for free)

All Politics Rant

ObamaCare is Not Evil – A Rant


ObamaCare Is Not Evil – A Rant

Stop it. Just stop it. You’re upset about what you perceive to be an attack on your personal freedom and you’re taking it out on ObamaCare because you decided that our President is an evil tyrant planning to steal all of the gold from the federal bank, haul it away in a few dozen dump trucks and blow it all up while taking revenge on the NY cop who dropped his (nonexistent) brother off the top of the Nakatomi building for trying to kill Harry Potter AND have a wine tasting contest while stealing millions in bearer bonds on Xmas eve.
1) Stop watching so many Alan Rickman movies.
2) Take a breath and listen:

I’m trying to dumb it down a bit, but there’s a lot of information here, and many of you have already made up your mind (or allowed newscorp to make up your mind for you) and won’t bother to read this anyway, so to those who choose to live in the dark and think ObamaCare will destroy your precious ‘Merica … go hide in your nuclear fallout shelter until the world ends and GFY with an MRE.

Look, I was one of the first to scream like a mofo when I heard the Affordable Care Act (aka ObamaCare)
wasn’t going to be a single-payer system that covered everyone. Without a public-option of any kind, an individual mandate sounded like it wouldn’t make any sense. I know you all have your own opinions on the subject.

The health industry (insurance companies and the drug industry) wasn’t going to let Single-Payer happen.
They have way too much invested in our current healthcare system in the USA, which is a profit-driven one, (Yay, Capitalism). Private insurance companies may love it, but it’s not even close to optimal for people who need healthcare. 

B..b..but America has the best healthcare in the world!

THIRTY SEVEN. 37 is not 1. It’s 36 more than 1.
Guess who’s #1?
That’s right. Those “cheese-eatin’ surrender monkeys”, France, has the best healthcare system, which is a Multi-Payer system, combining government and private insurance.
Even if you don’t agree with all of the variables that the World Health Organization used to make these determinations, you can’t possibly conclude that the U.S. healthcare system is the best. If it was the best, why do so many people have no healthcare? How can you have the best system if everyone isn’t covered?
By the way, Groundskeeper Willie quotes notwithstanding, I think it’s time we laid off the France bashing a bit. After all, they DID help us gain our Independence from England (and possibly saved us from vampires during the Civil War, if we are to believe Abraham Lincoln’s unauthorized journals).

But don’t you worry, Freedom-Fries lovers. It’s doubtful we’d be able to convert to anything close to what France has, even though it would be better than what we have now, and better than the single-payer system in Canada that covers EVERY-FRICKING-BODY (and they’re ranked at #30). Even if the government were on-board, changing to either system would require a TOTAL OVERHAUL of our healthcare system.

The health industry makes it quite clear that they like America’s healthcare system to be rooted in the profit-driven private sector, and it doesn’t help that hordes of uninformed, misinformed, or just plain ignorant masses think “socialism” is a dirty word.
Because of this, all the corrupt politicians and healthcare lobbyists go out of their way to tell you that ObamaCare is the “crown jewel of socialism”. Never mind that the analogy makes ZERO SENSE, it’s just a stupid thing to say. If socialism had a crown jewel (it doesn’t), it would be SOCIALISM. But forget all that crown jewel stuff. ObamaCare isn’t socialism, and socialism isn’t the problem with the American healthcare system. Like some have already said before, capitalism is the problem.

Now before you all get in a huff, I didn’t say capitalism was the problem with America as a whole. Capitalism can work well if properly regulated (like it used to). I won’t get into the problems with our current version of capitalism (aka socialism for the wealthy). That’s for another post. I’ll just say this:
Some things in a society should not be left to the profit-driven whims of the free-market. Healthcare is one of those.
So yes, unless the health insurance industry can be properly regulated, capitalism will be a problem for the American healthcare system, and a drag on our economy.
Is Obamacare (ACA) a socialist healthcare system? Hardly. At the moment, the Affordable Care Act is the best our government could do under the current political climate, which sadly, has become even more dysfunctional.
The ACA is mostly a set of long overdue regulations to the American PRIVATE Healthcare System. If they had kept a public-option as part of the bill, you could have argued that it was part-capitalist/part-socialist, but even with the healthcare exchanges that they are establishing, it’s pretty much still a capitalist healthcare system. It shouldn’t matter to you if it has socialist components anyway, because…

America is already a hybrid social/capitalist society. It has been for many decades. We already do things in our country to help everyone. Our American republic has set up certain “social safety nets” to help those in need.
We have this thing called SOCIAL SECURITY and this other thing called MEDICARE (and Medicaid) that many of the aforementioned “masses” would threaten you with their 2nd amendment rights if you took them away.

Also, not to rub it in or anything but…
the Supreme Court said it’s constitutional for the government to pass a law requiring it’s citizens to have healthcare.

So what are you mad about now? Oh, they called it a tax, and now the anti-tax people are all mad about that?
Hate to break it to you but… TAXES are part of America, and we ARE represented by people that WE ALL ELECTED.
There are many social welfare programs that we all contribute to with this thing called TAXES.

I know, I know, the dreaded “T” word. Some of you out there think they should never pay taxes ever.
I can sympathize (who is this FICA person and why does he keep taking all my money?), but you need to get past your selfish ways and grow up. What? You’re all about personal responsibility, but then you refuse to be responsible for your role in this society? Seriously, grow the *!@% up.

BUT IT’S A MANDATE! But… the constitution… I thought this country was about FREEDOM! (see the paragraph above)
Nobody likes the government telling them what to do, but it’s hardly an attack on your freedom. Clearly your freedom of speech rights are intact (don’t get me started on “time & place” restrictions). You don’t have the constitutional right to choose which taxes you pay. Besides, you already pay into Medicare and Social Security; both are taxes.

Taxes exist to support a society. If you’d rather not have roads and bridges and social security and services that we all as a community rely on for the betterment of everyone, then by all means, stop
paying your taxes and move to a private island somewhere where you have to do all that stuff for yourself.
This is not “evil socialism”.
It’s the way America works (or at least was set up to work) –
We elect a representative government to pass laws to benefit the people as a whole. That government (that WE ALL ELECTED) decided that we have to pay taxes to support our Military and National Defense (jobs program?), Infrastructure expenses, Agriculture programs, and other things that support a healthy American republic, AND…
they decided to pass a healthcare bill that made everyone responsible in some way for their healthcare.
Without it, all those people without health coverage who end up in the emergency room… WE WOULD ALL END UP HAVING TO PAY FOR ANYWAY, and WAY MORE $$$ than we needed to because many of those emergencies could have been prevented if those people had healthcare in the first place.

Is it the best law they could have come up with? Not by a long shot. I’m not thrilled with the idea of being required to pay into a private “for-profit” healthcare system, but since there ARE a few safeguards in place to keep the health industry honest, and we don’t (yet) have the option to pay into a public system (aka Medicare-For-All), I’ll take what I can get, considering it’s better than what we have now. If you think you’re better off with things the way they were before they passed the Affordable Care Act, you’re probably wrong.

B..b..but it’s a TAX!
Really? You’re still going on about the tax penalty? That’s right… it’s a penalty.
You don’t pay it unless you don’t have health insurance, and it doesn’t take effect until 2014.
And even on the rare chance that you find you do need to pay a tax penalty for not having health insurance, do you really think the IRS is going to hunt you down looking for the money?  They’ll have a heck of a time trying to enforce it.

OK, so maybe now you’re not completely opposed to paying your fair share of taxes,
but you still don’t think you can afford healthcare,
so why are they making you pay for something you can’t afford?

  • “Some people can be exempted from the insurance requirement, called an individual mandate, because of financial hardship or religious beliefs or if they are American Indians, for example.”
  •  “Depending on your income, you might be eligible for Medicaid, the state-federal program for the poor and disabled, which will be expanded sharply beginning in 2014.”
  • You might be eligible for government subsidies to help you pay for private insurance that would be sold in the new state-based insurance marketplaces, called exchanges, slated to begin operation in 2014.”

B..b..but it’s going to hurt small businesses!
More than the private insurance industry is hurting them already? Doubtful. Also…

  • Companies can get tax credits to help buy insurance if they have 25 or fewer employees and a workforce with an average wage of up to $50,000.”

(quotes above from KaiserHealthNews: Consumers Guide To Health Reform)

B..b..but why should I have pay so someone else can have healthcare?

YOU AREN’T, REALLY. You are covering your own incidental health care and increasing the insurance pool to lower costs for everyone.
If that argument is not enough for you, try this one:

I’m not a religious person or a bible scholar, but I’m pretty darn sure none of those books had Jesus telling you “EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF” and “SCREW EVERYONE ELSE; I’VE GOT MINE”, so if you make any claim to be a moral person and still don’t think you should look out for the welfare of others, then you might have some soul searching to do. When you come back from your mystical journey, check back in and let us know how it went.

Want more information?
If you’re not averse to learning things outside of what you heard from some random guy on the bus or from fox news,
Take a moment to learn what the Affordable Care Act ACTUALLY does.
There is posting on Reddit about the ACA that is pretty thorough and easy to understand:
Reddit: What exactly is Obamacare and what did it change? (Explained by Reddit user CaspianX2)

Here’s some highlights from that Reddit post for you lazy bastards:
(the “WHAT IT MEANS” parts were written by me)

Parts of the ACA Already in effect:

Drugs will be cheaper (most of them, anyway).

  • It makes chain restaurants like McDonalds display how many calories are in all of their foods, so people can have an easier time making choices to eat healthy. ( Citation: Page 518, sec. 4205 )

FREEDOM to make informed choices at restaurants.
If you don’t care about calories, you also have the freedom to ignore the label & STFU about it.

  • It forbids insurance companies from discriminating based on a disability, or because they were the victim of domestic abuse in the past (yes, insurers really did deny coverage for that) ( Citation: Page 66, sec. 2705 )
  • It says that health insurance companies can no longer tell customers that they won’t get any more coverage because they have hit a “lifetime limit”. Basically, if someone has paid for health insurance, that company can’t tell that person that he’s used that insurance too much throughout his life so they won’t cover him any more. They can’t do this for lifetime spending, and they’re limited in how much they can do this for yearly spending. ( Citation: Page 33, sec. 2711 )
  • Insurers have to tell customers what they’re spending money on. (Instead of just “administrative fee”, they have to be more specific).

MORE protection for YOU so you don’t lose health coverage.

MORE protection for YOUR KIDS so they don’t lose health coverage.

and all of you “invincible”, “I DON’T NEED HEALTH INSURANCE” twenty-something FREELOADERS can stay on your parents’ plan.

  • A limit is placed on just how much of a percentage of the money an insurer makes can be profit, to make sure they’re not price-gouging customers. ( Citation: Page 41, sec. 1101 )

The insurance industry hates this because it make them spend $ on ACTUAL HEALTHCARE, which cuts into their enormous profits.

  • Any new health plans must provide preventive care (mammograms, colonoscopies, etc.) without requiring any sort of co-pay or charge. ( Citation: Page 33, sec. 2713 )

YOU CAN GET A CHECKUP or other preventive care without having to pre-pay.

In 2014


  • Medicaid can now be used by everyone up to 133% of the poverty line (basically, a lot more poor people can get insurance) ( Citation: Page 198, sec. 2001 )
  • Small businesses get some tax credits for two years. (It looks like this is specifically for businesses with 25 or fewer employees) ( Citation: Page 157, sec. 1421 )
  • Insurers now can’t do annual spending caps. Their customers can get as much health care in a given year as they need. ( Citation: Page 33, sec. 2711 )
  • Limits how high of an annual deductible insurers can charge customers. ( Citation: Page 81, sec. 1302 )

MORE REFORMS to help more people get more care and pay less for health insurance.

  • Congress and Congressional staff will only be offered the same insurance offered to people in the insurance exchanges, rather than Federal Insurance. Basically, we won’t be footing their health care bills any more than any other American citizen. ( Citation: Page 100, sec. 1312 )

Those greedy SOBs in Congress have to use the same health insurance as the rest of us. No wonder they had such a hard time passing this.

  • The amount you can deduct from your taxes for medical expenses increases.

MORE MONEY in your tax refund.

ObamaCare is not evil.

Do you want to know what is evil?


In summary:
1) Pay your taxes.
2) Not everything you hate is unconstitutional.
3) Stop being such a selfish prick.

All Bacon Food Humor Money Politics Rant

C.P. Bacon Addresses The Elephant In The Room

Yesterday, news broke that presidential candidate and crispy meat slab, C.P. Bacon of

confirmed that he had sent out a support letter in favor of newly formed Bacon SuperPAC aka Americans For More Bacon Tomorrow. After much criticism over his support of a SuperPAC after having publicly denounced the Citizens United ruling on Corporate “Personhood”, he released a followup statement on his Facebook page and simultaneously on his Twitter account, @Bacon4Pres , explaining his rationale:


OK, let me address the elephant in the room. (No, not you, Dumbo, I’m speaking metaphorically).

Citizens United is what I’m talking about.  I’m pretty sure there’s a ton of corporate interests out there using Citizens United as a way to use tons of $$$$ to mislead the masses, and I’m not entirely sure if I agree with the Supreme Court on Corporations having the same rights to free speech as people (and half-people like me). But as a patriotic Bacon-American, I can see that the Citizens United ruling hurts the American Dream more than it helps. So I would be in favor of a constitutional amendment overturning Citizens United, but as most of us realize, passing one could take years.

In the meantime, corporate interests will continue to undermine the efforts of honest hardworking Americans just trying to #BringHomeTheBacon . So I’m doing the only thing I can to stem the tide. While the ability to make independent expenditures to promote a better food industry and a better economy for everyone is still perfectly legal under the law, I’ll do what I have to in order for you to have a better tomorrow.

This is why I support and why I wrote that letter of support.
Americans For More Bacon Tomorrow shares a lot of the same hopes and dreams for a better future for America, and they want to help you have every opportunity to #BringHomeTheBacon.
So I hope you can see that this is not just any SuperPAC. It’s a BACON SuperPAC.

Thanks for reading, and Lard Bless America!

C.P. Bacon –
@Bacon4Pres on twitter

p.s. – I know you’re not supposed to start sentences with “so” and “but” , but I do not care. The message is what’s important. I’ll hire a speech-writer for next election,

Bacon SuperPAC Support Letter From C.P. Bacon:

All Bacon Food Money Politics Rant

Bacon Super PAC – Let's Make This Happen!

Hi, Bacon , Cheeseburger and Bacon Cheeseburger Fans
and followers of Bacon4President!

I’m starting up a Bacon Super PAC (
I’m not kidding. This is real.

Besides supporting an imaginary strip of Bacon wearing a suit who’s running for President (you can still write him in),
I want to use this PAC to support real solutions for economic recovery and local food-related causes and other things that we care about, such as:

helping people get jobs and training,
helping small businesses that create or support a better food industry,
giving people better access to fresh produce,
working with cities to create more reasonable food truck regulations (like preparing/cooking food on the truck, etc.),
and supporting those who support progress.

In order to get the Super PAC and 501 non-profit set up properly, I need some seed-money to set up accounts and do the initial paperwork, etc. I’m trying to do as much of this on my own as possible, but I may need legal or financial consultation to make sure I put your donations to their best use. Any amount not used for the setup will go toward funding of the SuperPAC and/or 501 non-profit.
Once Bacon Super PAC is up and running, I may soon be able to hire people to support the Super PAC and 501 non-profit organizations. I want to be a REAL job creator, so others can bring home the bacon, too!

Let’s get started!
Go to
and make a Pre-Funding Donation (any amount)
so we can get this thing “out of the frying pan”!

Together, we can make a future where
ALL Americans can have more bacon tomorrow!

Thanks for your support, and LARD BLESS AMERICA!

Edward Heller
Founder – Bacon SuperPAC
Americans For More Bacon Tomorrow