Thanksgiving Super Stuffing! Also A Turkey Day Myth Dispelled

Much of this article was previously posted on Nov 22, 2010
Since most of you SOBs probably didn’t read it the first time, I’m posting a revision, now with photos!

Thanksgiving is coming up soon.

It is quite possibly the best freakin’ food-related holiday in existence.

I’m quite happy to celebrate this blessed day of thanks, and I encourage all to do their very best to stuff the hell out of themselves and each other with turkey and stuffing and cranberries and potatoes and gravy (aka turkey syrup) and pie without exploding or causing any serious coronary events, all while managing to stay pleasantly in a food/booze coma/buzz, thus unknowingly saving us all from years of potential family conflicts and Hatfield/McCoy-style feuds. I think, at the very least, it’s your patriotic duty to try.

That said, I must now enter the rant portion of this post, which involves the widely spread rumor of the tasty, but innocent giant roasted bird that we love so much – The Turkey.

A Turkey Day Myth Dispelled:

There is this crazy little amino acid called L-tryptophan (a precursor to serotonin) that, taken by itself, can have sedative effect. So much so, that it is sometimes prescribed as a sleep aid.

It just so happens that turkey contains a large quantity of L-tryptophan compared to other meats, and because of this, people everywhere started putting 2 and 2 together and came up with 5, claiming that everyone falls into a food coma after eating Thanksgiving dinner ‘because of the tryptophan in the turkey’.

The truth is that L-tryptophan does not have this sedative effect on people when it is ingested with protein, which turkey is also loaded with, so that pretty much restores all of our faith in arithmetic now, right?

IT’S FOUR!

TWO AND TWO MAKE FOUR, PEOPLE!

Doing the math, it’s not rocket science to anyone who’s ever been in a sugar coma.

Eating a large amount of calories, especially carbohydrates (and booze), is the culprit.

That’s right. We all stuffed ourselves into a sweet, sweet, sleeperriffic food coma. Over-eating is the culprit, but Thanksgiving only happens once a year, so let’s just enjoy the ride!

… which brings me to the real purpose of this post:

A Thanksgiving Super Stuffing:

I’ve posted my coma-licious Thanksgiving Super Sage Stuffing on my recipes page and am happy to share it with all of you:

Click for a larger version or go HERE to download a printable PDF.

Happy Turkey Day, Everyone!





A Quick Note to Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke

UPDATE 9-13-2012:

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke just announced QE3
(Quantitative Easing – You can get an explanation of QE3 from Ezra Klein of the Washington Post)
.

While I’m sure that it will be better than doing nothing, especially since there’s no jobs legislation coming out of the House of Representatives (Shut up and pass the Jobs Bill, Boehner!), I have a better idea.
This is something that I’ve brought up before, so I’m revising this article with some additional info and a new suggestion for the Chairman of the Federal Reserve (or anyone capable of implementing it).

First, here’s some negative equity mortgage information about the 2nd quarter of 2012:

The housing market is finally showing signs of life, with many metropolitan areas having hit the elusive bottom and seeing home value appreciation, however negative equity remains a drag on the housing market. According to the second quarter Zillow Negative Equity Report, 30.9 percent of U.S. homeowners with a mortgage are underwater (see Figure 1) – 15.3 million people – in the second quarter of 2012. Recent home value appreciation in many markets across the US has pushed negative equity levels down from 31.4 percent last quarter. However, negative equity is still slightly elevated from the 2011 Q2 percentage of 30. In total, underwater homeowners owe $1.15 trillion more than their homes’ worth. Over 40 percent of underwater homeowners (12.5 percent of all homeowners with a mortgage), owe between 1 and 20 percent more than their home is worth. On the other end of the spectrum, about 2.2 million underwater homeowners (4.5 percent of all homeowners with mortgages) owe more than double what their home is worth (see Figure 2). On average, U.S. homeowners in negative equity owe $75,235 more than what their house is worth, or 43.9 percent more (see Table 1). While roughly one out of every three homeowners with mortgages is underwater, 90.8 percent of these homeowners are current on their mortgage and continue to make payments.
– Zillow.com

$1.15 TRILLION DOLLARS!
Yes, that’s a lot of money for your average American, but for the Federal Reserve (or the Big Banks or many SuperPACs) , it’s a DROP IN THE BUCKET.

With QE3, you’re buying up treasury bonds and mortage backed securities and other stuff like that.
This doesn’t fix the housing market and only puts a minor dent in that $1.15 Trillion.
30.9% of all U.S. homeowners are still underwater in their mortgages and banks have little to no incentive to help those homeowners.
Stop giving these jerks money if they’re not going to help us! Instead, try one of these ideas:

 
Establish a National Mortgage Bank to lend people the negative equity difference at zero percent interest so they can pay down and/or refinance their current mortgage.

 or…

Split the negative equity difference with the Banks and Wall Street and mark the mortgages to their current value
What would that do?

It gives more people the opportunity to refinance their mortgages, lower their payments, and have more money to put back into the economy.
Consider it an investment in the restoration of the housing market and the economy, which both of those entities benefit from.

Alternately, you could go with my previous suggestion:

(Content Below Originally Posted on 10/17/2011)

TO: Mr. Bernanke

SUBJECT: HOW TO FIX THE U.S. HOUSING MARKET

1) Estimate the total amount in $ of negative equity in “underwater” mortgages
(aka the amount of $ it would take to bring all of the underwater mortgages down to their current value).

2) Divide that number by 2

3) Make Congress (and their 501c4 / SuperPAC money) pay for half and make the big banks pay the other half.

I call this plan: Operation TWIST-AND-SHOUT

You’re welcome.

Please feel free to contact me for any further advice on repairing our failing economy.

Sincerely,
Me

(debt solutions provided for free)



The White House Beer Recipes!

vcb - white house beer recipes

Straight from the White House Blog

It’s THE WHITE HOUSE BEER RECIPES!

Start Brewing, America!

White House Honey Porter

Ingredients

  • 2 (3.3 lb) cans light unhopped malt extract
  • 3/4 lb Munich Malt (cracked)
  • 1 lb crystal 20 malt (cracked)
  • 6 oz black malt (cracked)
  • 3 oz chocolate malt (cracked)
  • 1 lb White House Honey
  • 10 HBUs bittering hops
  • 1/2 oz Hallertaur Aroma hops
  • 1 pkg Nottingham dry yeast
  • 3/4 cup corn sugar for bottling

Directions

  1. In a 6 qt pot, add grains to 2.25 qts of 168˚ water. Mix well to bring temp down to 155˚. Steep on stovetop at 155˚ for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, bring 2 gallons of water to 165˚ in a 12 qt pot. Place strainer over, then pour and spoon all the grains and liquid in. Rinse with 2 gallons of 165˚ water. Let liquid drain through. Discard the grains and bring the liquid to a boil. Set aside.
  2. Add the 2 cans of malt extract and honey into the pot. Stir well.
  3. Boil for an hour. Add half of the bittering hops at the 15 minute mark, the other half at 30 minute mark, then the aroma hops at the 60 minute mark.
  4. Set aside and let stand for 15 minutes.
  5. Place 2 gallons of chilled water into the primary fermenter and add the hot wort into it. Top with more water to total 5 gallons if necessary. Place into an ice bath to cool down to 70-80˚.
  6. Activate dry yeast in 1 cup of sterilized water at 75-90˚ for fifteen minutes. Pitch yeast into the fermenter. Fill airlock halfway with water. Ferment at room temp (64-68˚) for 3-4 days.
  7. Siphon over to a secondary glass fermenter for another 4-7 days.
  8. To bottle, make a priming syrup on the stove with 1 cup sterile water and 3/4 cup priming sugar, bring to a boil for five minutes. Pour the mixture into an empty bottling bucket. Siphon the beer from the fermenter over it. Distribute priming sugar evenly. Siphon into bottles and cap. Let sit for 1-2 weeks at 75˚.

White House Honey Ale

Ingredients

  • 2 (3.3 lb) cans light malt extract
  • 1 lb light dried malt extract
  • 12 oz crushed amber crystal malt
  • 8 oz Bisquit Malt
  • 1 lb White House Honey
  • 1 1/2 oz Kent Goldings Hop Pellets
  • 1 1/2 oz Fuggles Hop pellets
  • 2 tsp gypsum
  • 1 pkg Windsor dry ale yeast
  • 3/4 cup corn sugar for priming

Directions

  1. In an 12 qt pot, steep the grains in a hop bag in 1 1/2 gallons of sterile water at 155 degrees for half an hour. Remove the grains.
  2. Add the 2 cans of the malt extract and the dried extract and bring to a boil.
  3. For the first flavoring, add the 1 1/2 oz Kent Goldings and 2 tsp of gypsum. Boil for 45 minutes.
  4. For the second flavoring, add the 1/2 oz Fuggles hop pellets at the last minute of the boil.
  5. Add the honey and boil for 5 more minutes.
  6. Add 2 gallons chilled sterile water into the primary fermenter and add the hot wort into it. Top with more water to total 5 gallons. There is no need to strain.
  7. Pitch yeast when wort temperature is between 70-80˚. Fill airlock halfway with water.
  8. Ferment at 68-72˚ for about seven days.
  9. Rack to a secondary fermenter after five days and ferment for 14 more days.
  10. To bottle, dissolve the corn sugar into 2 pints of boiling water for 15 minutes. Pour the mixture into an empty bottling bucket. Siphon the beer from the fermenter over it. Distribute priming sugar evenly. Siphon into bottles and cap. Let sit for 2 to 3 weeks at 75˚.



The Un-flating *

My inflatable Aqua Teens are un-flating. Master Shake went first, shrinking slowly from a never located leak (self-inflicted?), until he was a puddle of goo like that Drizzle episode. Next, my niece and nephew took a shining to “Mister French Fry” and dispatched him swiftly by having tug-o-war battles with his fries. Only Meatwad, protected by his magical green hat, remains unscathed.

*Yes, I realize “un-flating” is not a real word.