We’re just gearing up for 2015, by which time Miami will have moved to the American league in huge league realignment
and the Marlins owners will finally realize how stupid looking a Marlin is on a uniform and opt for a much more appropriate and aggressive team mascot – the Gator.
Animation clip from Back To The Future 2
– via Al Yellon’s article:
A ‘Back To The Future’ MLB Realignment Scenario
Read it at SB Nation.
On the plus side, we got to see an entertaining Cubs/Sox dialog from FunnyOrDie.com ,
featuring two of our favorite people, Craig Robinson & Nick Offerman.
They toss a few nice verbal jabs at each other and then teach us
two important lessons about friendly North-side/South-Side rivalry conversations:
1) Never bring up New York
VIDEO: Chicago vs. Chicago: Round 1 – via FunnyOrDie
Don’t forget, today is MARCH 32nd.
The United Nations and the Coordinated Universal Time Agency
have announced that this is the very first
Daylight Savings Conversion Adjustment
Contingency Solution Year.
Assimilated Press reports:
A panel of scientists, including NASA and a number of
leaders in mathematical science and astrophysics around
the world have concluded that our current system for
measuring time has been increasingly drifting out of
Phase with the Earth’s rotation around the Sun. After
tracking several years of space/time drift anomalies and
Relativity inconsistencies with supporting data from our
Internationally funded global positioning networks and the
Lunar verification telemetry from orbiting space telescopes,
Scientists have determined that our current system of
leap years is only partially effective for keeping our
calendars in proper sync.
Therefore, in addition to the leap year system of adding a
February 29th every four years,
(except for years divisible by 100 that do not leave a
remainder of 200 or 600 when divided by 900),
Officials have now established a new protocol to compensate
for this inconsistency.
We must now add an additional day to March every 7 years,
except in years divisible by 41.
One scientist has already coined this adjustment as:
The next DSCACS year will be 2019.
Software companies have been scrambling to push updates for
all programs requiring a calendar update. All US Government
nuclear facilities have already verified installation of
the calendar-based operating systems.
It’s grilling season (yes, I know it’s March. Crazy, right?), and you have just grilled a ton of tasty animals on your charcoal grill. The coals are still plenty hot, and it seems like a huge waste to just let those coals burn out,
but you’re out of meat, and frankly, you’ve just eaten enough cow today to consider the species endangered.
What do you do with a grill full of hot coals after you’re done grilling?
It’s just cooler to call them BBQ Brownies,
because when you say it, people reply “huh?”.
MAKING BBQ BROWNIES:
This one isn’t rocket science, but you do need to pay close attention to your baking.
TURN YOUR GRILL INTO AN OVEN:
The baking sheets provide a little bit of protection from burning.
Remove your grilling rack and move your hot coals to one side of your grill.
Replace the grilling rack and place the baking sheet/sheets on top of the rack over the non-coal side of the grill.
As many barbecue grills are different, you may want to do your own tinkering to get the best setup.
Your goal is to get even, indirect heat for most of your baking time, so however you achieve that is up to you.
If your grill is hotter than that, you’ll need to keep a closer eye on your brownies.
Grab your favorite box of brownie mix
(or make your own brownie mix),
chocolate chips, marshmallows, nuts, bacon, caramels, pretzels,
potato chips, foie gras, lobster macaroni, kobe beef,
(you should know which ingredients I’m kidding about by now)
or whatever else you like to put in your brownies.
but you can use whatever pan you like.
BAKE THEM BROWNIES!:
Most likely, your brownies will be ready in about 20-25 minutes, but you should
check on your brownies every 5 minutes after the first 10 until they are baked to your likeness.
BBQ Brownies take a bit of practice, but they are totally worth the effort once you figure out the best way to make them on your grill.
With 100% of the precincts reporting,
The winner of
The MOST IMPORTANT Presidential Primary Poll EVER is…
Please stay tuned as we await an announcement from the Bacon campaign…
which we join live right now:
with springy pancakes, scrambled eggs, and the occasional sausage link,
but you and I have taken an important step and now I am proud..
(Campaign manager! Where you at, Smokey?! I could swear you told me that we were running for President of Breakfast. No? Well, OK, but can I be both President of the United States and ALSO of Breakfast? Yes? OK, cool. Let’s do this!)
Now, where was I?
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
that the American Breakfast’s finest days have yet to come!
You’ve just heard from the Bacon Campaign.
The Final Results again, with 100% of the precincts reporting…
Bacon wins a decisive victory with 44.8% of the vote,
followed by Pizza and Cheeseburger.
Romney could not get past Santorum, who tied for 4th,
just ahead of Newt Gingrich.
Also on the poll graph: Ron Paul.
The Most Important Poll EVER: The Most Important Primary Poll EVER!