With 100% of the precincts reporting,
The winner of
The MOST IMPORTANT Presidential Primary Poll EVER is…
BACON!
Please stay tuned as we await an announcement from the Bacon campaign…
which we join live right now:
“My fellow Bacon-mericans. I know the road so far has been filled
with springy pancakes, scrambled eggs, and the occasional sausage link,
but you and I have taken an important step and now I am proud..
VERY PROUD TO ANNOUNCE..
THAT I AM NOW YOUR NOMINEE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNIT…
pardon me for just one second, will you?
(Campaign manager! Where you at, Smokey?! I could swear you told me that we were running for President of Breakfast. No? Well, OK, but can I be both President of the United States and ALSO of Breakfast? Yes? OK, cool. Let’s do this!)
Now, where was I?
Oh, yes…
VERY PROUD TO ANNOUNCE..
THAT I AM NOW YOUR NOMINEE FOR
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
Together, we are going to insure
that the American Breakfast’s finest days have yet to come!
Thank you, and Lard bless America!”
You’ve just heard from the Bacon Campaign.
The Final Results again, with 100% of the precincts reporting…
Bacon wins a decisive victory with 44.8% of the vote,
followed by Pizza and Cheeseburger.
Romney could not get past Santorum, who tied for 4th,
just ahead of Newt Gingrich.
Also on the poll graph: Ron Paul.
The Most Important Poll EVER: The Most Important Primary Poll EVER!
