Category: Humor
In an homage to his reading of ‘Go the f*@#! to Sleep’,
concerned citizen and patriot, Samuel L. Jackson
has participated in this video message that I think everyone should see.
My inflatable Aqua Teens are un-flating. Master Shake went first, shrinking slowly from a never located leak (self-inflicted?), until he was a puddle of goo like that Drizzle episode. Next, my niece and nephew took a shining to “Mister French Fry” and dispatched him swiftly by having tug-o-war battles with his fries. Only Meatwad, protected by his magical green hat, remains unscathed.
*Yes, I realize “un-flating” is not a real word.
Yesterday, news broke that presidential candidate and crispy meat slab, C.P. Bacon of Bacon4President.com
confirmed that he had sent out a support letter in favor of newly formed Bacon SuperPAC aka Americans For More Bacon Tomorrow. After much criticism over his support of a SuperPAC after having publicly denounced the Citizens United ruling on Corporate “Personhood”, he released a followup statement on his Facebook page and simultaneously on his Twitter account, @Bacon4Pres , explaining his rationale:
WHY I SUPPORT BACON SUPERPAC
OK, let me address the elephant in the room. (No, not you, Dumbo, I’m speaking metaphorically).
Citizens United is what I’m talking about. I’m pretty sure there’s a ton of corporate interests out there using Citizens United as a way to use tons of $$$$ to mislead the masses, and I’m not entirely sure if I agree with the Supreme Court on Corporations having the same rights to free speech as people (and half-people like me). But as a patriotic Bacon-American, I can see that the Citizens United ruling hurts the American Dream more than it helps. So I would be in favor of a constitutional amendment overturning Citizens United, but as most of us realize, passing one could take years.
In the meantime, corporate interests will continue to undermine the efforts of honest hardworking Americans just trying to #BringHomeTheBacon . So I’m doing the only thing I can to stem the tide. While the ability to make independent expenditures to promote a better food industry and a better economy for everyone is still perfectly legal under the law, I’ll do what I have to in order for you to have a better tomorrow.
This is why I support BaconSuperPAC.com and why I wrote that letter of support.
Americans For More Bacon Tomorrow shares a lot of the same hopes and dreams for a better future for America, and they want to help you have every opportunity to #BringHomeTheBacon.
So I hope you can see that this is not just any SuperPAC. It’s a BACON SuperPAC.Thanks for reading, and Lard Bless America!
C.P. Bacon – Bacon4President.com
@Bacon4Pres on twitterp.s. – I know you’re not supposed to start sentences with “so” and “but” , but I do not care. The message is what’s important. I’ll hire a speech-writer for next election,
Bacon SuperPAC Support Letter From C.P. Bacon:
