Categories
All Humor

Futurama Toy FAIL – Wooden Bender

I think that someone failed to watch the Futurama episode of “Obsoletely Fabulous” or just plain didn’t read the description, because FUTURAMA and kidrobot made one of the most cool, yet confusing, Futurama collectibles ever.

They got together
and made a “Wooden Bender” figure…
OUT OF PLASTIC!
OK, technically, it’s VINYL, but I think you see my point, don’t you?
Don’t you think it would have been more appropriate to have made this toy… I don’t know…
OUT OF WOOD, maybe?!?!?
This is either one of the most BRILLIANT inside jokes ever… or someone clearly didn’t really think this through.

You can get one of these abominations at the Comedy Central Online Shop
(click on the image above for the link)

I still kinda want one, though.

Categories
All Bacon Food Humor Politics

A BACON AMERCIA! (or beer can)

I think we can cut Mitt Romney a little slack on this one, as he probably didn’t even know he HAD an iPhone app.
Our good friend and presidential candidate, C.P. Bacon is also quite familiar with the challenges of hiring competent production staff. One time, he hired a Jamaican graphic designer to work on his iPhone app.
We’re not entirely sure if Bacon realizes that he was also dyslexic:
bacon4president.com

If you don’t get why it says “beer can”, you used to be able to go to: baconorbeercan.com, but apparently there were legal issues with that website, so we’re linking to the archive.org page

Categories
All Beer Food Hot Dogs Humor Sports

All the Beer and Hot Dogs.

Cubs Opening Day was a bust, but then well… ya know. They’re the Cubs.
We’re just gearing up for 2015, by which time Miami will have moved to the American league in huge league realignment
and the Marlins owners will finally realize how stupid looking a Marlin is on a uniform and opt for a much more appropriate and aggressive team mascot – the Gator.

Cubs 2015
Animation clip from Back To The Future 2
– via Al Yellon’s article:
A ‘Back To The Future’ MLB Realignment Scenario
Read it at SB Nation.

On the plus side, we got to see an entertaining Cubs/Sox dialog from FunnyOrDie.com ,
featuring two of our favorite people, Craig Robinson & Nick Offerman.
They toss a few nice verbal jabs at each other and then teach us
two important lessons about friendly North-side/South-Side rivalry conversations:

1) Never bring up New York
and
2) NEVER… EVER… disrespect Chicago Pizza.

Categories
All Holiday Humor

It’s March 32nd. Please Update Your Calendars.

Don’t forget, today is MARCH 32nd.

The United Nations and the Coordinated Universal Time Agency
have announced that this is the very first
Daylight Savings Conversion Adjustment
Contingency Solution Year.

Assimilated Press reports:
A panel of scientists, including NASA and a number of
leaders in mathematical science and astrophysics around
the world have concluded that our current system for
measuring time has been increasingly drifting out of
Phase
with the Earth’s rotation around the Sun. After
tracking several years of space/time drift anomalies and

R
elativity inconsistencies
with supporting data from our
Internationally funded global positioning networks and the
Lunar verification telemetry from
orbiting space telescopes,
Scientists have determined that our current system of

leap years is only partially effective for keeping our
calendars in proper sync.


  Therefore, in addition to the leap year system of adding a
February 29th every four years,
  (except for years divisible by 100 that do not leave a
remainder
of 200 or 600 when divided by 900),
Officials have now established a new protocol to compensate
for this inconsistency.
We must now add an additional day to March every 7 years,
except in years divisible by 41.

One scientist has already coined this adjustment as:

Lucky Leap Year.

The next DSCACS year will be 2019.
Software companies have been scrambling to push updates for
all programs requiring a calendar update. All US Government
nuclear facilities have already verified installation of
the calendar-based operating systems.

Categories
All Art CHiPs Deep Fried Donut Donuts Holiday Humor

How to pronounce Paczki – The Polish Chicago Mardis Gras Donut!

Pączki
(actually this is plural; pączek is the singular form)

How do you pronounce the name of this wonderful
jam, jelly, custard or creme filled donut-like pastry?
 

Here’s the problem:
The word is Polish, and has been Americanized,
so how you pronounce it really depends
on who’s polish grandmother your parents were talking to
when they bastardized the word into Chicago-eze.
So say it how you want, but to me,
it’s a perfect excuse to put Erik Estrada
into a funny photo with a donut.

 
Poonch+key?
Punch+key?
Ponch plus Key equals how you pronounce the name of the Mardis Gras Jelly Donut

PONCH+KEY!

It goes with the photo, so that’s what we’re sticking with.

You know the theme song from that show is now in your head, don’t you?